So there’s a pink and girly Ouija board available for sale, and some folks are wigged about it.

Concerned parents, dig:  you have so much more to worry about that’s so much more important.  There are actual bad guys in the actual world who are battling for your children.  Teach them to be skeptical consumers of information.  Teach them to stay away from pills that don’t come from doctors or parents.  You hearing me?

Look, I acknowledge that I’m a bit of an unusual Christian on this score.  I don’t believe there are literal demons to call in the first place.  (You hearing me?  I don’t think they’re there. Send ‘em after me with everything you got, buddy.  666, and inverted cross, and whatever the hell else.)  Speaking of, I don’t think there is an actual fire-and-brimstone place called hell.  Finally, I’m not at all sure there’s an actual fallen angel “down there” named Lucifer trying to pull me (and you) from God’s path.

I’ll tell you something that might make you feel better.  When I was 16 or so, my stepbrother Chris, this guy Matt, and I burned our Ouija board to hear it scream, and we never heard it.  It burned like the manufactured wooden good it was, and that was the end of it.

And know that ideo-motor response is a much better explanation for a Ouija board’s actions than is contact with a spirit world.  (See also Occam’s razor.)

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2 Responses to “Ouija board! Boo!”

  1. kemteeNo Gravatar says:

    I also figure that I don’t have to shell out the $$ for anything I don’t particularly want her to have. Such is the power of an independent thinker….

  2. BoNo Gravatar says:

    What is this nonsense of which you speak, kemtee? Are you suggesting that as her mother, you can deny her things she wants? That’s ridiculous. You’re going to damage her self-esteem or something. She’ll be in therapy, telling someone what a rotten old bitch you were/are. Don’t you think being her friend is the most important thing?

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