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The entertainer was a bit off

Published on March 6, 2010 in Family, Popular Culture, Religion and Sports. 4 comments

Nathan and Aaron had their season-end Upward ceremony this morning at church.

Many dedicated people work long and hard to make an Upward season happen, and I think the size of this one took a lot of people by surprise.  I’m extremely thankful for all of the volunteers’ efforts, and my meager contributions—an occasional coach sub or an afternoon in the kitchen—pale in comparison.

All of that said, the entertainer at this year’s season-end ceremony seemed a bit off to me.  He was a guitar-playin’, singin’, audience participationin’ sort of fellow.  Had us clapping, shaking hands, hugging, exercising, and stuff.  He had a bit with an imaginary friend named Larry.

Dig, all of that’s fine, but there was a subtle undercurrent of unmistakable weirdness about him.

Fortunately, I had a like-minded texting partner also in attendance.  (This is an exact transcript, apart from three <name redactions>.)

(begin text transcript)

Bo (10:09 AM):  I’m about to strangle the <redacted> boy.

BamaDan (10:11 AM):  Sleeper hold? Who’s the entertainer? Salome of the Mystic Feather Dance?

Bo (10:11 AM):  Marilyn Manson

BamaDan (10:13 AM):  Europe?  Where’s We’ve Got Spirit cheer?

Bo (10:20 AM):  FREEBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD

BamaDan (10:22 AM):  Hey you were right.  It is Marilyn.  So Harvester of Sorrow isn’t an acceptable name for this song?

Bo (10:23 AM):  “He’s a Vengeful and Bloodthirsty Savior”

BamaDan (10:24 AM):  Sol Invictus didn’t roll off the tongue I guess.

Bo (10:27 AM):  The case for this guy being a raging fetishist is not a difficult one to make.

BamaDan (10:30 AM):  I’m contacting his parole officer and checking the Davidson County predator’s list.

Bo (10:36 AM):  “ok, now everyone take your shirts off!”

BamaDan (10:38 AM):  Is Larry in a leather gimp mask?

Bo (10:45 AM):  Are you almost done, Kevin?

Bo (10:46 AM):  I was going to hug <Stepford Mom #1> very thoroughly, but she evaded me.

BamaDan (10:49 AM):  Don’t take it personal – maybe if you were at more PTO mtgs?  This place needs a buffet table.

Bo (10:49 AM):  Feet, check.  Underwear, check.  Watersports, check.

BamaDan (10:51 AM):  Would it be yellow journalism to tell <Mrs. BamaDan> that the entertainment made kids play with his instrument?

Bo (11:01 AM):  Man, is that guy ever a blog post waiting to happen.  I think I shall refrain.

BamaDan (11:04 AM):  Ummm, why?  He’s gotta have a web page.  Deserves a link of love.  Making light of the yr end entertainment is a time honored tradition.

Bo (11:05 AM):  I’d be too mean.

BamaDan (11:06 AM):  Can never have too much of a good thing.

Bo (11:32 AM):  I don’t want a churchmate to happen upon it and think I’m unappreciative of the work someone did to find him.

(end text transcript)

And I don’t.  And I’m not.

But dude was weird.

“No brakes, no gears, no fear”

Published on March 5, 2010 in Leisure and Sports. 0 comments

The boys and I were flipping around a few weeks back and happened upon a motorcycle speedway event.

Do you know about this sport?  I’d never heard of it, and it’s been around most of a hundred years.  Essentially it’s four riders on 500cc, methanol-fueled motorcycles with no brakes and a single gear, sliding around a short track in a series of four-lap heats.

(I figure the heat structure is necessary because if these guys ran long races, no one would ever have a speedway career and there wouldn’t be any fans, because everyone would die doing it.)

The slicing and dicing in the corners is really something to see.  It’s almost balletic.  The ways in which the bikes can move in and around each other are surprising (and unpredictable, to an inexperienced watcher like me).

Even though most heats end without a crash, part of me is still shocked when they do.  (This heat does have one near the end, but it’s not bad.)

We saw it on Discovery HD Theater, so if you’re interested, watch for it there.

Baby, what the hell have you been doing?

Published on March 4, 2010 in Consumption, Family and Menagerie. 5 comments

She said something about red velvet cake batter.

Looks like it could be body disposal to me.  You ever see that Alfred Hitchcock Presents where Barbara Bel Geddes (Miss Ellie on Dallas) beats her husband to death with a leg of lamb, then cooks and serves it to the investigating police officers?

(Wow, those KitchenAid stand mixers are powerful.)

Thursday miscellanea #77

Published on March 4, 2010 in Menagerie. 4 comments
  • I think the whole child-directing-air-traffic thing is quite overblown and no big deal.  It’s so unlike us as a nation to spend a lot of time and energy on things that don’t really matter!
  • I don’t hate winter quite like I used to.  Fun family stuff like Upward helps.  Being busy at work helps too.  All of that said, it’d suit me fine if after the nice weekend we currently have forecast, there aren’t any more 20s until the late fall.
  • Despite that President Obama was too chickenshit to use the word in his address yesterday, an attempt to ram through “health care reform” using the budget reconciliation process is coming.  I may write a longer post on it, and I may not.  Nothing is surprising from this administration anymore.  Our esteemed “post-partisan” president may well be the most arrogantly and bitterly partisan president in history.
  • Somehow I am signed up for a “pantyhose newsletter,” which seems to be geared toward fetishists for such, which I am not (you know, particularly, but who doesn’t like the line up the back?).  I have no idea how this happened, and would tell you if I did.  It looks shady enough that I’m scared to follow the unsubscribe instructions, for fear of confirming that my email address is good and multiplying the porn spam tenfold.
  • Know what’s made for everyone but me?  Ear buds.  One pair in ten that I’ve ever tried actually fits in my ears.
  • A group of us at church finished The Man I Want To Be, a video/discussion seminar with Neal Jeffrey, last night.  I enjoyed the discussion very much—our associate pastor did a great job leading the six-session effort—and the workbook was good.  The video was just okay.
  • It’s National Grammar Day.  Who knowed?

That’s $323.99 with tax

Published on March 3, 2010 in Consumption and Sports. 5 comments

Were there $300 (or, you know, maybe $175 or something in those dollars) baseball bats when I was a kid, and I just didn’t know about them?

And ooh, you can “SAVE $100″ on that one.  It’s normally $399.99, apparently.  You know, just a little tip there, for the value-conscious amongst us.  (cough)

Stuff like this gives me a little optimism. If this market is still there, then the economy could be worse.  Right?

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