May 232019
 Posted by at 10:28 am
May 212019

Late in the sixth season of Seinfeld, one of the greatest television shows of all-time, Kramer receives, by mistake, a vanity license plate that reads ASSMAN. He goes to the DMV to straighten things out, but the clerk, consulting her computer, says  there’s no mistake. (“You are the Assman!”)

The plate actually belongs to proctologist Dr. Cooperman, whom they encounter later in the episode in that tie-it-all-together Seinfeld way. Along the way, Kramer dates large-bottomed women and parks in the doctors-only lot at the hospital. (“Cosmo Kramer. Proctology.”)

So, what a great front plate for my pickup!

A couple of people have gotten the joke. That’s cool. I was an instant hero with my younger son, who suddenly wanted me to take him to school on my way to work. And I chuckled every time I got in.

Alas, as of this morning, the ASSMAN plate has come off. Why would I do such a thing? Am I yella?

Well, yeah. A little. A gate guard gave me a funny look last week. He didn’t say anything to me, but that feels like a time bomb. Also, I haven’t done a slow, opposite-direction approach with a police officer on a side street yet—you know, the sort of encounter that would give him/her plenty of time to read the plate? Portal Lane, anyone? I doubt the plate is illegal, but that doesn’t immunize me from having to prove it inconveniently.

Finally, though there are surely many people running around who get the joke, it’s probably safe to say there are more who don’t. And to those folks, I’m just some schmuck driving around with a not-nice word on the front of his vehicle. Church? Passing kids playing in the neighborhood? You getting me?

The ASSMAN plate will live on and give me chuckles. Still considering whether it goes in the garage or in the study.

 Posted by at 8:30 am
May 202019

Consider that contentious questions tend be so because they are complex. Claims that abortion is a simple issue may be born of disingenuity or of ignorance, but they are never accurate. There are good, reasonable people holding thoughtful, considered views all over the spectrum. If you don’t believe that and you allow your discourse to […]

 Posted by at 10:55 am
May 162019

They are already just a whisper under 229 mph at practice for the Indianapolis 500. Ed Carpenter’s pole speed last year was 229.618. You can catch the Fast Nine Shootout and the Last Row Shootout on NBC on Sunday at 11, with Saturday’s qualifying on NBC Sports Gold and NBCSN. Hope the weather holds. I […]

 Posted by at 1:40 pm
May 142019

Bill Nye made headlines this week dropping F-bombs about global warming. (This post is a good entry into what I’ve had to say about climate change on Here are three things that concern me more: Factory farming. I have written before of the extensive animal welfare concerns embodied in the way we raise most […]

 Posted by at 9:35 am
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